Nervous wreck. Pacing. I sit. I watch the clock. Why is time moving so slowly!?! Can’t stop staring at the screen. Want to throw up. Shaking as my fingers grace the keyboard. Will I be able to do this? Can I make it happen? I have others who are depending on me too. Everything will fall apart if I can’t pull this off. Getting closer. 6:59pm…heart beating faster…7:00!! BAM!!
GOGOGO!!! I’m in! No time to waste.
Online camp registration is open.
Michael: “What should we do for dinner?”
Me: “NOOOOO ONE TALK TO ME!!!”
Michael (thinking crazy psycho): “Ummmmm, O – KAAAY. I guess everyone stay out of mommy’s way.” Correct.
I start with PreK first because every mom I know in this whole town plus 10000 more I don’t know about are signing their kids up for PreK camp at this place. GO GO GO!!! Wait! What is it talking about online forms? Totally didn’t see this coming. Yes he has my permission to swim. NEXT. Yes he can go on a field trip. NEXT. Yes any random passer by has my permission to pick him up from camp. What’s Michael’s work address? Who the f knows? No time for this! No peanuts. I get it. If he breaks his leg, yes take him to a hospital. NEXT!!! Doctor’s info!!! Come on! Now? What’s the number? Address? Come on!!!! I’m losing time. I still have 2 more kids to sign up. Finally a payment screen! My credit card is on file. That’s because I rock and I entered my credit card info in advance to be brilliant and save time registering just for this very reason. Finally saving time. WAIT WHAT???? A 3% fee? That’s so weak. In this case that’s coming to about $50. Wait no fee with debit? But I didn’t enter in my debit info ahead of time! That means I’d have to actually get out of this chair, get my debit card, and enter in the digits. I could lose too much time and wait list all the kids. $50 it is. (I still can’t believe I did that by the way. My mind went numb and I lost the ability to make sensical decisions.) Ok. done. One kid signed up.
Proceed to B sign up. Fortunately his forms are saved from last year. NEXT NEXT NEXT. $50. GO! (Yup, I did it a second time.)
Now we just have the friend. Yes, it’s ok to take her kid to the hospital too? No, he doesn’t have any allergies? No medications? Probably not? Whatever. NEXT! Ok done. 3 kids signed up in 10 minutes. Just one thing left to do.
“Michael, I just charged $3000 on the credit card for camp.” No need to mention the money thrown in the trash can from multiple credit card fees. “If you want, I can go through the whole, complicated background to explain why they need to go to this camp?” I knew that would get him because it would jog his memory back to the days of deciding on a double stroller, which I talked about for months and months with him and with any mom walking by. He doesn’t want to go back there. He doesn’t want to have a lengthy conversation about how “we” decided on this camp. He knows that’s at least a one hour conversation.
Michael: “I’m good.”
Had he chosen to have the conversation, I might have mentioned:
- it costs a fortune.
- the kids have to walk 10 minutes up a steep hill in the heat to get to the pool.
- there’s no parking in the immediate area near the camp.
- there’s no green area attached to the school so they use a rooftop park in the apartment building next door.
- the PreK camp and 1st grade camp are in two separate locations, in neighboring towns.
- it’s a full day. (MAJOR bonus/criteria for me so this is definitely on the plus side)
- the alternative: busing them 1 hour away to a beautiful day camp with fields and lakes and sports all day. Recall how our kids get motion sick in traffic on the way to Target. Yes, they will throw up. Both of them. Everyday. The end.
What’s for dinner?
I feel like I’m right there. Love it!
I will say it again; you’re a really good writer!! I hope you’re thinking about turning these posts into a book. How long is camp by the way??