I’ve been taking the boys to the library after school when we have to kill an hour before B’s Hebrew School class.  (Yes, an after school Hebrew school class for Kindergarteners…whole separate post and no he doesn’t like it.) This week, B and I sat down at the library table next to another mom and her daughter.  We quickly established that both B and her daughter went to Kindergarten at the same school.  This 5 year old must have finished her worksheet already because she was on to a whole ‘nother level of homework that B and I had never seen before.

B is writing his name in a mix of capital and lower case letters at random, some in the lines some around the lines.  Then we start cutting out the letters to the word “see” to complete the sentence: “My glasses help me see.”  We had to trace the letters, then write them, then cut them out.  I even had glue and scissors in the awesome (aka crap) CVS pencil box I bought.  (Granted, we didn’t have a single #2 pencil until B started school, and I realized Kindergarteners actually write with pencils, not sharpies.)  Mom of the year! B is deeply absorbed in cutting out the 3 letters and applying purple glue to the paper.

Across the table, the 5 year old, who I will refer to as “genius daughter,” is working on her additional homework and from what we can tell it is a combination of Einstein level math and college professor level English. First she starts with the 3-digit math problems such as 354+198.  Clearly, it’s a breeze when you know how to carry your numbers.  B and I just pause to watch her go through problem after problem like this while B tries to place his purpley glued “S” in the right box.  Math is done and she moves to her Reading Comprehension workbook.  Now she’s reading paragraphs and writing main ideas I believe.  Her mother corrects her first sentence.  She wrote “boy’s” in her sentence.  Genius/boring mommy responds, “[Genius daughter] I told you, in this sentence, boys is a PLURAL NOUN.  The apostrophe goes AFTER the S not BEFORE.”  If I had a nickel…

B can’t focus on his cutting because genius daughter and genius (but so insanely boring) mommy keep grabbing our attention.  I keep applauding B for applying glue so well while this mom was probably throwing up in her own mouth watching us do actual Kindergarten worksheets.  Keep in mind my 3 year old is comatose in front of the new iPad station they set up in the kids section.  B finishes his homework and hits the iPad station as well.  Of course before we leave we max out our 5 DVD check-out limit.  Books?  Maybe next time.  Yup, that’s how we roll at the library: tracing/cutting/pasting, some iPad time and a few DVDs.  Harvard?  Maybe not.  Was our Tuesday slightly more fun than theirs? Yea I think so….well, until Hebrew school.

I tell my husband the story of genius/boring mommy and genius daughter at the library and he responded, “They’re losers.”  Guess who was teaching his son how to carry the 1 in some multiple digit spontaneous daddy/son math time that night?  You got it.